RandomPokes

John Roberts: Go At It

2010-03-11T03:04:56Z

I gotta agree with Chief Justice John Roberts in regard to the State of the Union Address--how it's become a political pep rally. The justices sit there surrounded by hooting and hollering Congressmen, and are by tradition expected to remain stone-faced, expressionless--even as the President criticizes them for a recent decision.

Obama was wrong to criticize the Supreme Court in that atmosphere (and wrong in how he characterized their decision, apparently). And Roberts was right to say, "To the extent the State of the Union has degenerated into a political pep rally, I'm not sure why we are there."

Glenn Beck and Jesus Wouldn't Get Along

2010-03-10T16:39:02Z

Glenn Beck wants me to leave my church. He said on his show:

"I beg you, look for the words 'social justice' or 'economic justice' on your church Web site. If you find it, run as fast as you can. Social justice and economic justice, they are code words. Now, am I advising people to leave their church? Yes."

Anchor is spending four Sunday nights talking about issues of justice, particularly as it applies to people in our immediate community. But Glenn doesn't think we should be talking about such things. They are, apparently, evil concepts.

According to Glenn Beck, "social justice" and "economic justice" are code words for communism and Nazism.

The thing that bothers me is, untold tens of thousands of gullible Christians dutifully absorb everything Beck says as the Gospel truth. And so, gobs of Christians will now oppose anything that speaks of justice...because Glenn told them to. They'll even leave their church if the pastor talks about social justice...because Glenn told them to.

Glenn might benefit from reading the New Testament sometime, which is saturated with his evil code words.

The Lost Art of the Point Guard

2010-03-09T02:27:37Z

That's me on the far right, kneeling, next to our coach, Guru Rajneesh (actually his name was Ross Gentry). This was 11th grade, my third and final year of playing high school ball. (Click photo to enlarge.)

When I go to the YMCA, I sometimes watch the games being played on the two basketball courts. And it maddens me. Because nobody passes. When a guy gets the ball, he dribbles around until he can find space to loft up a shot, which usually misses. They're all a bunch of gunners. And this is Indiana, where basketball is supposed to be more pure, more fundamental, than elsewhere.

I love seeing good passes. But they don't exist at the Y.

In my basketball days, I was always a point guard. My greatest delight was the pass, hitting someone when he was open. I didn't need to score. I loved enabling others to score. That's what point guards do.

Of course, part of it was just compensating for my weakness, which was shooting. I was always a terrible shooter. If the coach said we could leave practice after making five straight free throws--well get me a pillow, because I'm gonna be here all night.

But I could always pass, and let others do the scoring.

In pickup games, whether in PE or on the court behind our house in Pixley, Calif, where scores of kids came to play, I looked to pass. And sometimes, there would be one guy who knew that, if he got open under the basket, I would get him the ball. And HE would then score. I loved that, watching this guy maneuver and making sure I was in position to dish him the ball.

In pickup games, it's not especially hard to get open (especially in PE). Nobody guards vigorously. So if you put just a little effort into getting open, it'll happen. And I would get you the ball somehow.

But at the YMCA, nobody plays to pass. Consequently, nobody tries to get open...because, what's the point? Everyone knows that the guy with the ball is gonna dribble around and eventually shoot. So everyone else is just a spectator, standing around until he lets fly.

I would not enjoy playing in those games. It drives me nuts just watching.

The Hurt Locker Vs. Avatar

2010-03-08T13:49:37Z

I don't have a lot of opinions about the Oscar results, but I was definitely interested in the competition between Avatar and The Hurt Locker, which are the only two contending films I saw.

Some people may draw comparisons to the year when Shakespeare in Love beat out Saving Private Ryan for Best Picture. I never saw Shakespeare in Love, and it seems to have been forgotten, but Saving Private Ryan will always remain as one of the best war movies ever.

The Hurt Locker was a small movie, compared to Avatar. But I'm totally okay with it winning Best Picture. It was a truly memorable movie.

A number of scenes from The Hurt Locker are etched in my memory:

The creepy Iraqi with the videocamera filming while they were trying to defuse a car bomb.
The sniper scene out in the desert.
The attempt to defuse the bomb padlocked around a guy.
Jeremy Renner's character standing in a street and pulling up a whole circle of bombs, with a creepy (I've used that word again) man of uncertain motives watching through a window and finally slinking away.

I tell people I felt dusty after watching the movie. I've not been to Iraq, but I felt like I was there.

(Speaking of creepy: what's with that Hurt Locker producer jerking Kathryn Bigelow around by her arm? A ground-breaking moment for women, in that a woman wins Best Director, but you see this guy directing her around like she's a child.)

Then there's the Avatar juggernaut, biggest blockbuster in history. It didn't affect me emotionally like The Hurt Locker, but the innovation was, ahem, out of this world. I'm sure it broke new ground in movie-making. I can't come within lightyears of comprehending James Cameron's vision and thought processes for that movie. Avatar was truly a masterwork of directing.

So here's what I would like to have seen:

Give Best Picture to The Hurt Locker.
Give Best Director to James Cameron.

A Conservative's Unease with Glenn Beck

2010-03-05T15:50:09Z

Charles Murray of the conservative American Enterprise Institute writes in his column "The Unbearable Paradox of Glenn Beck" that he agrees with Glenn Beck 95% of the time on substantive issues. "The man is a gifted communicator. His style doesn't happen to be one I like, but many times I've sat there on my sofa wishing I could make the same point as effectively."

But he doesn't like Beck's style, and doesn't find him trustworthy. "I don't really want to shut him up. I want him to change."

Murray, a thoughtful guy, wants intellectual honesty. He continues:

Beck uses tactics that include tiny snippets of film as proof of a person's worldview, guilt by association, insinuation, and occasionally outright goofs....To put it another way, I as a viewer have no way to judge whether Beck is right. I have to trust that the snippets are not taken out of context, that the dubious association between A and B actually has evidence to support it, and that his numbers are accurate. It is impossible to have that trust....

What Beck does is propaganda. Maybe propaganda has its place, but let's not kid ourselves. Glenn Beck and Keith Olberman are brothers.

In another column, "Is Glenn Beck Our Friend," Murray writes:

My reader--the one I'm talking to with every sentence--is a bright, reasonable person who doesn't agree with me but comes to my text ready to give me a shot. My task is to get this reader to stick with me as we work through difficult questions. If I take a cheap shot at his point of view, I'm going to lose him. If I duck an obvious objection to the argument I'm making, I'm going to lose him.

We are indeed engaged in a battle for America's soul, but the way that battle is conducted makes a big difference....Our job is to engage in a debate on great issues and make converts to our point of view. The key word is converts--referring to people who didn't start out agreeing with us. We shouldn't be civil and reasonable just because we want to be nice guys. It is the only option we've got if we want to succeed instead of just posture. The Glenn Becks of the world posture, and make our work harder.

No More Excuses

2010-03-04T17:01:17Z

I picked this out of an email someone sent me.

Noah drank too much
Abraham had no idea where he was going
Isaac was a daydreamer
Jacob was a liar
Leah was ugly
Joseph was abused
Moses had a stuttering problem
Gideon was afraid
Sampson was a womanizer
Rahab was a prostitute
Jeremiah and Timothy were too young
David had an affair and was a murderer
Elijah was suicidal
Isaiah preached naked
Jonah ran from God
Daniel was thrown to the lions
Naomi was a widow
Job went bankrupt
John the Baptist ate bugs
Peter denied Christ
The Disciples fell asleep while praying
Martha worried about everything
The Samaritan woman was divorced, more than once
Zaccheus was too small
Paul was stubborn
Timothy had an ulcer....
AND Lazarus was dead!

Can You Blame Him?

2010-03-03T14:10:39Z

Greg Boyd quotes this recent letter to the editor from his local newspaper on his blog.

When I read letters sent in by Bible thumping Christians telling us how sinful we are and how right they are, how God is on their side, not ours, how God hates gays, liberals and other evil people, I close my eyes for a moment and say a quiet prayer. "I thank thee oh Lord that I am not and never will be a Christian."

Boyd then makes a fascinating point. He noted that Jesus attracted prostitutes and tax collectors, the sinners most despised in his day. He asks, "Where are the prostitutes and tax collectors of our day?" We generally despise gays and abortion providers. Are they attracted to Christians, as they would undoubtedly have been drawn to Jesus?

Think about that: gays and abortion providers would be drawn to Jesus.

Once again, I am thumped broadside with the radical nature of Jesus...and how little we understand what He was really like.

I Really Really Dislike Your Pews

2010-03-01T04:07:32Z

Do you realize how uncomfortable your wooden church pews are? I don't care how much padding you added to them, because it's never enough. They're too narrow, too hard, the backs are terribly uncomfortable, and there's not enough leg room. Probably. Maybe. I'm generalizing.

You don't notice, because you're used to your pews. Discomfort is the norm. But not so for me.

The past two weeks, I've been in churches with wooden pews. I find myself constantly squirming, trying to get comfortable. I continually adjust, twisting this way and that, crossing my legs one way and then the other, never fully satisfying (for long) the complaints of my back and tailbone.

The lack of leg room can be pitiful, too, especially as you bump knees and shins on protruding hymnal racks. It's almost as bad a flying coach, except that pews don't recline and there's no neck support, no contours, no pillows, no armrests.... Come to think of it, it's a lot worse than flying coach.

I say this reluctantly, because I fully acknowledge the validity of all of these statements:

It's unspiritual to be comfortable during worship.
The churches in Acts had pews.
A church with pews is more worshipful than a church without.
The more ornate the wood, the more sacred the sanctuary.
The Holy Spirit is far more present in churches with pews.
If Jesus could hang on a cross for me, how can I complain about an hour sitting in a wooden pew?

We're spoiled at Anchor. When Anchor went through its "restart" in 1998, the wooden pews were yanked from the floor and replaced with green, heavily-padded chairs (like the one above). I can sit in them for hours without discomfort, whether sitting up straight or in my usual slouch. The cushioned seat is very wide, thereby accommodating persons who are amply endowed on the backside. We shallow, carnal churchgoers can fully concentrate on the sermon without once thinking about our aching backs or tailbones.

So when I go to a church with pews, I really struggle. I just can't get comfortable.

And that's probably how your church's visitors feel. They check out your service, and the lasting impression is, "Those pews really suck."

The Brain Game: Using My Trivial Mind

2010-02-28T03:44:05Z

L-r: Stephanie, Luke, Jeremy, and me.

The group of teams competing just before us. (Click to enlarge)

There we are, ready to flaunt our trivia knowledge in front of 500 people.

Tonight I participated in The Brain Game, a big fundraiser for the Fort Wayne Center for Learning. It's a trivia contest. Companies and organizations and anyone else who wants to can sponsor (for a cost) a team in The Brain Game. Pam's CPA firm, Christen-Souers LLC, entered a team this year. Jeremy and Luke, two of the four partners, along with one of their employees, Stephanie, agreed to be on the team. When they couldn't think of a fourth, Pam suggested me. And so, this guy who is the total pits with numbers spent the evening representing a CPA firm.

There were over 40 teams. They divided them into groups of about 7, and the winner of each group made it into the finals. Our group went fourth (which means we got to hit the buffet before heading into battle). We were not expecting to do very good, and we started out in line with that expectation.

Our grouping was called the "Bora Bora Brainiacs." The other teams were from C. Henry Discount Steel, Fort Wayne Metals, Lifeline Youth & Family Services, OmniSource, the Chef's Academy, and radio station WMEE. Each team member held an electronic device on which you could punch in your answer--A, B, C, or D. There were ten questions, all multiple choice, and a team could gain a maximum of 4 points per question. We had ten seconds to record our answers, and could talk amongst ourselves. After each question, they showed the team standings on a screen.

After the first two questions, we still hadn't scored. The name "Christen Souers LLC" was nowhere to be found. But we got on a roll, and suddenly, we were in second place. The question that jumped us ahead was one I knew: "Where was Microsoft founded?" Most teams picked Washington or Massachusetts, but I knew it was Albuquerque, NM. We knew what TARP stood for. We knew that Norway had won more gold medals in Winter Olympics (over the years) than any other country. And suddenly, we were in first place, and remained there through the last four questions or so.

Two of the team members from Lifeline, who beat us. They had wonderful outfits, and went around the convention hall campaigning to get votes as the Best Dressed.

Going into the last question, we led by three points. The most points you could get on a question was 4. We knew that if we cast a vote on each answer on the last question, the worst that could happen is that we would be tied for the lead. The 10th question asked what Space Shuttle astronauts lost during a spacewalk in a year I can't remember. The answer was "tools," or a tool bag, or something like that, but the other answers sounded convincing, too. We cast one vote for each answer. Unfortunately, our closest competitor, Lifeline, gave all four answers on "tools," and they caught us.

Overtime! The other five teams were dismissed, leaving just us and Lifeline.

Question 11: still tied. Question 12: still tied. Then question 13: "What was the first face to appear on metal school lunchboxes?" Or something like that. The options: The Lone Ranger, Gene Autry, Hopalong Cassidy, and I can't remember the fourth. We put all four votes on "The Lone Ranger." The other team put all four votes on "Hopalong Cassidy." Drum role. Pregnant tension.

It was Hopalong.

We had expected to get trounced. But now, having come so close, we felt really really disappointed. But hey, that's how it goes. Life is filled with disappointments. But we could at least hold our heads a bit high.

The Spanish Inquisition guys would have had my vote for best costume...if I had voted.

The teams all came wearing costumes of some kind. There was a beach theme to the night, so we made it simple: matching Hawaiian shirts, khaki shorts, and sneakers or sandals. We had the most basic outfit of any team. There were some very, very elaborate and clever costumes. You could vote on your favorite, and that team automatically made it into the finals. I didn't vote, but my vote would have gone to The Spanish Inquisition, four guys who represented...well, I have no idea what they represented. I think they were just four guys who pitched in the money to field a team. They wore long, full red robes. But they didn't need my vote, because they won their "heat" and made it into the finals that way. I think they ultimately placed third.

The final round was a mini program in itself, with dancing acts, jump-roping, a girl ventriloquist, a high school choir, and other things interjected between questions. For a while, I thought the team from Shawnee Construction & Engineering, wearing hardhats, would win. Imagine that--construction workers winning a trivia contest (though they were probably from the engineering wing). But a team called "Parents and Teachers" ultimately won.

Altogether, it was a very fun night. Definitely the most interesting fundraiser I've ever attended.

Life Apart from the Church--It's Not for Me

2010-02-26T13:57:56Z

Very good article by Bob Hyatt on Next Wave ezine, called "Why I'm not Done with Church." I found myself amening frequently, as he gently admonished those who abandon the institutional church (which--disclaimer--has been my bread and butter throughout my adult life).

Then I got to the comments...and found some really good stuff by people who have left the institutional church.

The author makes a flippant parenthetical analogy about liking Jesus, but saying you can't stand his "wife." The church is the "bride of Christ," according to Scripture. I wish he had developed that a little further. Imagine saying, "I want to spend time with you, just as long as your wife isn't around, because I don't like her at all."

My thoughts on all of this are evolving. But as for me--I wouldn't function well as a Christian apart from the church. Maybe some people can, but not me. I need to be part of an organized church, regardless of how messy it is. It keeps me focused. Maybe I'm just undisciplined. No, I AM undisciplined. I probably wouldn't be good at running a home-based business; the office environment keeps me in line. I appreciate being part of social security, despite its flaws, because I would be a major flop at managing my own retirement funds.

Other people are different. But I'll bet not the majority of them. I suspect that most people who "give up on" the organized church have their occasional spurts of spirituality, but for the most part increasingly become Christians in name only--good people, but not people who conquer for Christ. Unfortunately, the exact same thing happens to hordes of people who faithfully sit in pews every Sunday. So casting stones is problematic.

But in the end, I still maintain with conviction: Christians need the church. Not necessarily that specific church down on the corner, but a fellowship of Christians along with all of their flaws.

Toward a Sustainable Afghan Military

2010-02-25T13:44:49Z

You have to be careful in drawing comparisons between Afghanistan and Vietnam. There are significant differences in the governments of Afghanistan and South Vietnam, in the nature of and capabilities of the enemy forces, in the US military, and in our understanding of fighting a guerrilla army. But war historian Andrew West raises some valid questions.

He points out that in Vietnam, the South Vietnamese Army was, to a large extent, "Americanized" and designed to fight alongside American troops and logistical support. West says, "The plan worked remarkably well, as long as American forces and or support was close at hand. But the South Vietnamese military was never meant to fight on its own."

When we basically pulled out in 1973, South Vietnam fell within two years. He says the Vietnamese army was not sufficiently Vietnamese to survive our departure. When North Vietnam invaded, they found lots of high-quality, but unusable, American equipment which the South Vietnamese weren't able to maintain.

I remember reading a war memoir of a former South Vietnamese general. He said that before America entered the war in force, South Vietnam had amazing airplane mechanics who knew how to keep shot-up planes flying with the equivalent of duct tape and bailing wire. But when we entered the war, if an airplane engine wasn't working right, our solution was to replace the whole engine. That became the new way to do things. When we left, replacing engines was no longer an option, but they didn't know how to fix what was broken.

West looks ahead to America's eventual withdrawal from Afghanistan. Are we building an Afghan army that can do well fighting alongside American forces, but will crumble when we leave? Are we again trying to build a First World military out of a Third World country, something which is unsustainable in our absence?

These are valid questions, but are nothing new to our military leaders, who ever live in the enduring shadow of Vietnam.

Thanks a Lot, Coach.

2010-02-24T20:28:18Z

When I saw the report this morning about Sven Kramer, the Dutch speedskater who was skating to a sure gold medal when his coach messed up and got him disqualified--well, it's a heart-breaking story. My sympathies immediately went out to the coach, who felt terrible for messing up.

Mika, on Morning Joe, felt the same way. And on CNN, when they showed the report, the host felt bad for the coach.

But as I drove to work this morning, I thought about that. Why was I instinctively drawn to the coach? Why wasn't my first reaction to feel bad for Sven Kramer?

After all, Kramer's the one who trained brutally hard for years and years, probably since he was a young kid. He's the one who sacrificed and punished his body in pursuit of a dream. He's the one who skated those 25 laps in Olympic record time. He's the one who would have received the Gold medal and gone into the history books. He's the one on whom the hopes of his country rested. He's the guy six million skating-obsessed Dutch viewers were watching. He's the one who truly lost something.

But my first thought was to feel bad for the coach. Why? Here's what I concluded.

I can't relate to Sven Kramer, an elite, world-class athlete. He exists in a different universe.

But I can relate to a poor dumb schmuck who screws up. That's where I live, the land of the ne'er-do-well, of the guy who squanders his chance, who gets confused under pressure, who blows it for everyone else, who makes a mistake which can never be redeemed. The coach--he's my kind of people.

How Do You Define Clueless?

2010-02-23T17:09:43Z

Musings about the Angel of Death's Criteria

2010-02-21T21:53:37Z

Pastor Tim preached about ~~Charlton Heston~~ Moses and the Exodus today. As he talked about the final plague, the death of the firstborn sons, I began wondering:

How exactly did God define "firstborn son"? Was there an age cut-off?

There were plenty of fathers and grandfathers who were firstborn sons. Pharoah himself may have been a firstborn son. Did the Angel of Death kill firstborn sons regardless of age, or did he concern himself only with dependent children?

What if a man had fooled around, and secretly had a son by another woman before having a son by his wife. Would that other boy have died, while the boy he was raising was spared (since he was not truly his firstborn son)? And did that make his wife suspicious?

Was it only a man's firstborn son that died, or the woman's firstborn son? In the latter case, one man could have lost multiple sons.

What did the Angel do when he came across a home with a hermaphrodite child? Such children, bearing both male and female sexual characteristics, occur 1-3 out of every 100,000 people, so there would have been some such Egyptian children. I'm just wondering.

These are the questions which keep me awake at night.

Books: North of Montana, Judas Horse

2010-02-21T01:55:19Z

I just finished two books by April Smith, a new author to me. "North of Montana" and "Judas Horse" are two Black Lizard/Vintage Crime mysteries featuring Ana Grey, an FBI investigator. The books were written 15 years apart--1994 and 2008--which is a bit odd. But I went right from one to the other and didn't feel like I had missed much in Ana's life.

"North of Montana" revolves around a Hollywood star's claim that her doctor got her addicted to painkillers. Ana Grey is assigned to investigate--a chump chase, not anything she wanted. But swirling around this investigation are a whole bunch of other threads, all of which are tied up, one way or another, by the end of the book:

What happened to Ana's father, an El Salvadoranian?
Ana's relationship with her happily-married partner.
Her relationship with Poppy, the bigoted cop/grandfather who raised her.
The superior who squelches her quest for a promotion.
The two Hispanic orphans, their mother gunned down, whom she is told are her cousins.

"North of Montana" was, in short, a wonderful book. Not a murder mystery, which I normally gravitate to; not a high-action book. But there was a lot going on, and it held my rapt attention.

"Judas Horse" was very different, yet equally superb. Ana Grey goes undercover to infiltrate a group of eco-terrorists. Smith didn't have lots of threads going in this one, but focused on Ana's undercover work and the collection of interesting personalities among these misguided criminals. Interestingly, Smith educates the reader about ecological causes, particularly regarding animals (mustang horses especially), and you feel sympathy for those causes (though I'm already inclined in that direction). And yet, you object strongly to the methods used to advance these causes. A variety of elements came together at the end, though not in the ways I was expecting. She surprised me in a number of ways.

April Smith is a skilled writer who knows all about dramatic tension and conflict. She is a thrice Emmy-nominated writer-producer with lots of credits on TV series and movies. I cannot emphasize how much I enjoyed her books. April Smith rocks!